Doesn't take much.

Me with Allyson (coworker and friend) at the end of the Slacker Half Marathon in Georgetown

Transitions and change. Transitions and more transitions. I realize that, to some degree, it is a no brainer. We've had our lives turned upside down and our stress level tolerance maxed in the last few months. New baby. Adoption process. A few bumps in the adoption road. New baby's questionable hearing deficit. Twins graduated preschool. I took three months off work. Largely unpaid. Because adoptive parents are treated unfairly in comparison to those who give birth to their children. (Not that I am bitter.) Not being able to stick a fussy (which he really was--more than my others) on the boob to comfort them is a serious mind bender for a mom who exclusively breastfed for as long as I did. Running wasn't really feasible or fun (tired much?). I found out I'm allergic to nearly everything around me. I returned to work. Work is busy. Work is stressful (but I love my job). There are several big transitions at work. Can't ride my bike anywhere because a.) Keeler is too small and b.) it keeps RAINING!!!

*Stick with me here folks. I swear this is not a poor-me-pity-party. Believe me, I am blessed. I am well aware of all life has given me and all that I wake up to each day. I. AM.BLESSED. Now, stick with me.

All of this has left me, at different points, feeling very...unlike myself. Spencer and I have lived our marriage and our lives with a sort of, live it now or live it never attitude. He climbs. I run. We all get outside. We just do it. (Sorry, Nike.) My yard's barely passable. My house is only semi-clean. My clothes are out of date and more than a bit worn. We rarely host a dinner party. But, that's fine by us. That's not where we choose to put our energy at this point in our lives. We want to enjoy every day that we have. We want to experience the outdoors and take so much joy from being physically active. Running and climbing are our therapy (individual and marital!). There aren't other hobbies or shows or books (okay that one's not so true for me) or games or anything that take our time or our energy. Just climbing, running, and being outdoors with the kids.

When our reality changed so quickly (and so drastically) with the addition of beautiful crazy Keeler, we muddled through. The added stressors and changes in the subsequent months piled up. The day to day reality of caring for a newborn was there. As was all of the other "stuff" that we had going on. And suddenly. I wasn't sure who this grumpy, frumpy gal was looking back at me in the mirror. I had stopped taking care of myself and my mind. I was struggling to make this transition and to find us a new "normal" where we were back to the life that we strive to live.

Slowly, but surely, it's happened. It doesn't take much really. When we went to Utah to see family, I was dreading being indoors there too. I felt like I'd been indoors for months with the new baby and the rain in CO. So, we just didn't. Isn't that simple?! We planned a hike instead. And it was a blast. We went to the park with all the kids. We went to the splash park with everyone. And I felt like myself.

In May, with no consistent training under my belt, I ran the Bolder Boulder. Because that's what I do. That's what makes me happy. And I wanted to feel like happy me again. And you know what? It was AWESOME. It felt so good to be out again and to push myself again and to see my kids at a finish line again.

Then, there was Moab. At small points, I wondered if we were crazy to attempt camping in the desert with a newborn (two really--the Pierce's baby is a month younger than ours). But, camping is what we do. It's what makes us feel joy and helps us to feel peace and to appreciate this wonderful earth. So, we just went. And it was crazy. But fun crazy. It was hot and beautiful and wonderful to see the kids just play and play and get covered in red dirt.

Two weeks ago, a friend and I ran the Slacker Half Marathon in Georgetown. And it was incredible. We trained together after work (yes after night shifts!). We got up at 4:45 am. And we just did it. We ran all the way down that darn mountain together. And we laughed and we talked and we passed loud-mouthed men who trash talked us. Two moms. Just getting out and taking care of ourselves and our sanity together.

After we walked back to the car, we opened the back of her Jeep and just sat and chatted and looked out across the lake and up at the mountain peaks. We talked about our kids and our husbands and our jobs and running and why we run. And I felt like myself.

I have realized that, to be a good mom, I have to take care of myself. I have to put some things first for me. For my sanity. For my patience. For my outlook. For my ability to survive major transitions and stress. Running is what I do. Being outdoors is what we do. All it takes for me is 40 minutes in the morning. Even better if it's an hour. And I'm a new woman. I'm a better mom. I'm a better wife. I'm a better friend. All of those stressors and changes? So much more manageable when I give myself the time and the value of a run (or some yoga or a bike ride).

I love life. I love my family. I want us to live a life where we fully participate in each day. We do our best to make choices that afford us those opportunities. But still. Sometimes, change and transition get in the way. And things stop or slow down or get a little muddled. (I feel a little like Oprah right now...) But, I still have to take care of myself. I know that I still have to put myself first in some ways so that I can continue to care for and provide for the rest of these little lovelies. Aaaaahhhhh. Makes me want to go for a run. :)