I am thankful.

Anderson Family Thanksgiving Tree

• For new family traditions--like the Thanksgiving Tree (thanks Sage and Melissa). We've been adding a few handpainted leaves every day and writing something we're thankful for on each leaf.
• For friends, family, and loved ones who have called, commented, emailed, texted, and just shown up.
• For homemade cookies (and Whole Foods cookies). Turns out, a cookie almost always makes you feel better.
• For J. For her honesty. For her strength. For her love and for her sweet daughter.
• For a trip to Utah that is just three days away.
• For parents, siblings, and friends who cry with us when our hearts are broken.
• For four-year-olds who say, "Mom! Did you know that when we are five, I will have a WHOLE HAND?!!" (As in, all five fingers.)
• Comfort food. For me, it's spicy foods. I found the best recipe ever for Tortilla Soup. You really have to try it. Super easy. Crock pot. Only two changes you should make: Do not add the corn until the last 30 minutes of cooking and, just before adding the corn, use an immersion blender or a regular blender to blend the soup a bit. It will improve the texture and body of the soup so much--it will be worth the extra step. Also, you could totally use shredded pork instead of shredded chicken and it would be just as good.
• For the understanding of all of this that is slowly, slowly coming about for me.
• For a husband who buys me a beautiful card that pales in comparison to the letter he writes me inside.
• For four-year-olds who walk out of preschool wearing the ridiculously funny hats seen below and for their excellent retelling of the first Thanksgiving. Enjoy. It's worth the watch.
  

Heartbroken.

Today, our worst fears about J's baby--who had quickly become "our baby"--were confirmed. She has a triplication of the 18th chromosome or Trisomy 18. The prognosis for Trisomy 18 babies is, generally, very poor. :( Over half do not survive to their due date and, beyond that, a minority will live beyond 1 week. The condition has a large number of serious or fatal anomalies associated with it. Based on J's specific case and the baby's ultrasound, her doctor has recommended that she deliver the baby immediately.

Our hearts have felt like they are breaking today. Although we've only know J for a month, we've formed a very strong bond with her and had already made such a big place in our hearts for her, her children, and this sweet girl that we dared to hope would be a part of our family very soon. We are so sad for us but we are even more sad for J and for her loss and grief. She is an amazing woman who has been through so much and has proven herself to be so strong yet, sometimes, it just seems like too much for a person to endure.

We are doing our best to see how it is that something that seemed to be working out so perfectly and seemed "meant to be" could have turned out so much different than we'd envisioned. We are trying to take comfort in knowing that, although J would have had to endure this whether she'd found us or not, at least now we can offer her some support and love during this process. As strange as it may sound, we also take comfort in knowing that, although the baby will not have "known" us in this life, at least she will leave this life having been loved and wanted by two more people.

I'm not sure what else to say. I know that this is a difficult grief for others to understand or to comprehend--it's difficult for us to understand too. I also know that it's probably hard to know what to say. But, still, thank you. The phone calls that started rolling in as soon as we told immediate family were heartwarming. Sometimes you can sense that the Lord would put his arms around you if he could--today was one of those days.

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Things that were supposed to be their own posts but won't be...

In the midst of all of this, I'd forgotten to share the news that Milo's EEG was normal. From here, we'll just hope that he does not ever have another seizure. Ever. E.V.E.R.

Also, the kids and I are included in an article in HealthAware magazine this month. If you live in the Northern Colorado area, keep your eyes out for it--mostly at doctors' offices etc.. Or, better yet, click on the link and read the PDF version. We're on page 9. It's an article about prematurity (November is prematurity awareness month).

The (very) good, the scary, and the funny...

First of all, posts without pictures are lame. Seriously. Also, not having batteries for your camera for weeks at a time is even more lame. I'm falling into both of those categories right now.

First, the (very) good. And, also, the scary.
One of the birthmoms with whom we've been working has "picked" us--so to speak. We've made plans to meet her (she lives back east) at the beginning of January and we've had an amazing time getting to know her and reveling in how the Lord works in incredible ways. "J", as we'll call her, is funny, bright, articulate, strong, caring, and incredible all around. We are beyond impressed with her and with the incredible decision she's made (well, is making really). To respect J's privacy, we won't be sharing any personal information about her or her particular situation on our blog. Just trust us when we say that she is an incredible woman! :) Oh, and she's due near the first of March and she's having a girl. :)

That leads us to the scary. :( J recently had her ultrasound which revealed some potentially serious problems with the baby. To say that we are all incredibly scared, terrified, and nervous would be a GIANT understatement. She is having an amniocentesis tomorrow (won't expect the results for a few days) to check for any possible chromosomal abnormalities. The particulars of the concerning findings could point to anything from "nothing at all" to "not compatible with life". :( It's been such an emotional rush and then crush to have our profile put on "hold" and then, 20 hours later, to find this out. We are praying fervently and doing our best to trust in the Lord.

Now for the funny...
The other day, Isabel was telling me a story and, as usual, was being quite animated in her hand gestures and descriptions. Milo was watching her with the funniest look on her face. After several minutes of watching her gesture and listening to her go on and on, he piped up with, "Issy, how come sometimes it's like you're talking with your mouth AND you're doing sign language with your hands?!" She gave him the four-year-old equivalent of a withering look and said, "UGH! Milo, I don't even KNOW sign language!" and proceeded with her story (hand gestures and all).

Last night, we were all kneeling together in the kids' room for family prayer. As usual, we went around and asked each person what they would like to pray for or be thankful for in our family prayer. When I got to Isabel, she stalled repeatedly and kept saying, "Um, I want...um...I want...I want...". Milo motioned for her to lean across to him, whispered in her ear, and then they both started laughing hysterically at what he'd said. Isabel then repeated him, "I want to...MOVE IT! MOVE IT! I want to MOVE IT! MOVE IT!" (the song from Madagascar). Their amusement at their little joke was so hilarious. They continued to belly laugh (while maintaining eye contact) and alternately shout out "MOVE IT! MOVE IT" for a good 3 minutes. I love that they are starting to share jokes. :)

And, the non-news.
We still don't have the reading from the EEG. I'm assuming that no news is good news. Milo has been back to his old self since the day after Halloween. I guess we're just hoping that was a one time incident and that it will NEVER EVER (did I say EVER?) happen again.

EEG...123

Just a quick update...

Milo's EEG went fine yesterday. We don't know the results yet and, likely, won't know them until next week sometime.

Milo was pretty anxious about it but did really well. After they put all 23(!!!) leads on, he watched a DVD and sucked his thumb while they recorded for about 30 minutes. When it was all finished, he got to pick a prize from a little toy basket. Our sweet boy went right for the one thing that there was two of--bubbles--and asked the tech if he could get one for his sister too. :)

Later in the afternoon, Milo told Isabel, "Did you know that they put TWENTY-THREE stickers all over my head and even put one on my HEART?!" When she inquired about why he had to have an EEG (or BEG as they keep calling it), he said, "Because they just want to see if I'm having any more seizures (with much emphasis on the word 'seizures')." Isabel looked at him like he was crazy and replied, "Can those stickers see inside your brain or something?!"

We'll keep ya posted!

Catch Up

Where to begin...

First...the scare of our lives.

I'm still not even sure how to tell this story and, truthfully, every time I tell it I think I'm going to start to cry again.

Thursday morning, Milo passed out while sitting on our counter. He fell to the wood floor and was out cold. When I tried to wake him up, he was pale and completely unresponsive. :( Thankfully, Spencer had stuck around for a few (like 5) extra minutes that morning and was still home. He called 9-1-1 while I tried to figure out what was going on.

After about 2 minutes, Milo started seizing. After the seizure, he had (temporary) paralysis of the right side of his face and body. This was all the most horrifying and terrifying thing we've ever seen. He was not really responsive or able to form any intelligible words for about 7 minutes. They transported us by ambulance to the hospital where we spent the next several hours. Milo seemed to recover mostly but was beyond exhausted and had a large abrasion/contusion on his side where he must have hit the counter on his way down.

We don't know why any of this happened or, exactly, how it happened. Initially, we thought that he lost his balance and fell, hitting his head (then passing out and that the seizure was caused by the impact). But, he has no bruise, swelling or bump on his head...plus, the paleness and limpness are not really explained by a simple fall.

On Wednesday, Milo will have an EEG to record the electrical activity of his brain to see if he has any underlying seizure activity. If that is normal, we may just hope that this was a freak incident and that it will NEVER happen again.

Poor Isabel saw the whole thing and was pretty freaked out. Really, we all were. We're all getting back to normal now and have, mostly, stopped having nightmares (me).

Second...Melissa and Curtis Visit.

Thursday night, Spencer's stepsister (halfsister?) and her boyfriend flew into town. They came for a visit and to see the CSU-BYU game. We had SO much fun with them. We checked out bikes from the bike library here in town and went for a long ride by the river, ate TONS of good food, went trick-or-treating, and had a blast at the game. We adore both of them and wish that they would MOVE HERE. :)

The whole fam during our bike ride. Milo in the bike trailer, Isabel on the tag-a-long. Beautiful day and a beautiful ride.
Isabel working it on the tag-a-long.

The Cougars' number one fans! We had SO much fun at the CSU-BYU game. And we didn't even get beat up. But we almost did. Drunk CSU fans are not necessarily the NICEST people we've ever encountered.

Third...we survived Halloween.

After an entire WEEK of Halloween festivities, we were happy when the real deal was actually

here!

We had some friends over, ate the most delicious dinner (cornbread, white chicken chili, veggies and dip, hot cider, and baked apples with ice cream!), went trick or treating and watched a Winnie the Pooh Halloween movie.

The kids were all absolutely adorable and had so much fun together!

Isabel in the most hilarious face paint/nose combo ever.

Baby Boo the Witch. Honestly, Mya could not get any cuter!

A super dark/crappy picture of all of the kids' in their costumes. So cute. So fun. So adorable.

Obi Won and his beard. It ranked up there with the Snow White wig as far as creeping us out.

Fourth...Heart Center of the Rockies 10K

Saturday morning I ran the Heart Center of the Rockies 10K. I placed 5th in my age division. Really, it's not as impressive as it sounds. I, honestly, don't know how I did. My time was less than stellar. Oh well, it's kinda cool to see my name in the top 5 so I'll take it!

The kids ran (Isabel) and walked (Milo) the Healthy Kids' Run that morning too. They got their finisher medals, enjoyed the free pancake breakfast, and cheered me on as I crossed the finish line. It was our last big run of the year so it was a little bittersweet!