29 and 0/365ths

My second birthday--I think. Mom?

I don't know why this birthday got to me? I feel like I'm really a grownup now...or something! ;) My birthday started yesterday with a very hostile/hilarious voicemail from my friend and coworker Joan. It went something like this, "Um...a little word of advice for you! If you're working a shift on or near your BIRTHDAY, then you probably shouldn't give that shift away!!! (dramatic pause) Oh well, I guess we'll just potluck without you! (another dramatic pause) There will be cake though. So, you might want to CONSIDER coming in anyways." Needless to say, I felt terrible for giving away my shift last night and went in for a few hours to gorge myself on the potluck and cake. :) Yummmmm....chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting is my fave...especially from Schmidts bakery.

Isabel with bedhead and my present.

Isabel crawled into my bed this morning at 7:30 and got all cozy. About 0.7 seconds later, she shot up in bed and said, "Mom, is it your birthday now?!" When I confirmed that it was, indeed, my birthday she scurried outside in her pink sparkly shoes and jammies to retrieve my present. On Sunday, she and Milo spent a good part of the morning scouring the backyard (with binoculars even!) for the best leaves, flowers, and dandelions available. Isabel then stored them in a bowl with a frisbee for a lid in the backyard until today. She was SO proud of the present and of herself for keeping the surprise for three whole days. It was so cute. :)

One of the older Golden Lion Tamarins with the twin babies--born March 10th.

After breakfast, the kids and I picked up Kiana and headed to the Denver Zoo for the day (Spencer had to work). It was beautiful weather and we all had tons of fun. There were quite a few baby animals to see. The Tamarins were definitely some of our favorites. They only weighed 100 grams when they were born! (About the size of a kiwi.)

Tonight, Spencer and I rode our bikes to Star of India for dinner. It was yummy and a nice bike ride too--although we forgot our bike lock so we had to sit near the window and ask them to open the blinds so I could watch our bikes. We love Indian food but haven't eaten it much since we moved here. We were spoiled by the amazingness that is Bombay House in Salt Lake. This was definitely worth a try--we would definitely recommend it!

I'm rocking out to my new Sheryl Crow CD and plotting my workout for tomorrow with my new heart rate monitor (thanks Spencie!!). Overall, a pretty good birthday! Except for that whole "one year until I'm thirty" thing of course! ;)

Colder Bolder Boulder

Freezing (it was so cold and drizzly) at the expo afterwards--definitely didn't stop us from eating the famous popsicles. :) The clouds were so low they were blocking the beautiful mountains that would usually be visible in the background.

Today I ran the always fun and always hard Bolder Boulder. The kids were so excited. For popsicles. Yup, that's it. Popsicles. They remembered getting them at the Bolder Boulder last year and couldn't wait to get them this year!

There were nearly 54,000 participants this year--it's the second largest 10K in the nation (after the Peachtree 10K in Georgia). The sheer number of participants makes it quite the event. The runners start in waves (as opposed to everyone gunning it across the start at once) and you're pretty much shoulder to shoulder with other runners the entire time. There are bands, belly dancers (only in Boulder I tell ya), Elvis impersonators, people running in all manner of costumes, slip and slides set up in yards along the way and spectators blasting their music all along the course. It finishes in Folsom Field (where the CU Buffs play) with a lap around the stadium. It is so fun. Definitely one of my favorite races.

Looking down at the finish line. There was an insane amount of people.

Spencer and the kids had their eyes glued to the finish line but still managed to somehow miss my finish. It's a comical continuation of a long pattern--something almost always comes between them and my finish. Of all the races I've run, they've only see me cross the finish line twice. :) Doesn't stop the kids from cheering their little hearts out when they finally do see me though.

Milo, me, and Isabel in the Folsom Field stands afterward. Isabel said, "Momma I can't wait until I get big and can run a race in a circle with you!"

My unofficial finish time was 51:31. I clocked myself at a minute faster than that so I don't know what's up with that...faster than last year either way and enough to move me up to the next wave for the big 30th birthday run next year!

Run the Rockies Half Marathon here I come!!! (14 days and counting...)

A sad goodbye...

We've known for months that today was coming. That didn't make it any easier though. :( Today was Kate the Great's last day as our nanny. There has been some serious tear-shedding in this house (and tearing up--by me AND the kids over the last few weeks as we anticipated this) today.

Since I work 12 hour night shifts, we have a small rotation of nannies who watch the kids on the days that I need to sleep after work. (Many of my shifts are on the weekends so this typically is just 1 or 2 partial days a week.) At this time last year, Milo had just undergone his abdominal surgery and was--slowly--on the mend from a rotten winter and many hospitalizations. We were looking for a new nanny and I was more anxious about it than I can even tell you. We prayed that we would find someone who could love little Milo and would tenderly care for both of our kids. Enter Kate. Also known as Kate the Great. Also known as an answer to our prayers. :)

Isabel, Kate, and Milo at the beginning of their last day together. The kids gave her flowers this morning.

Kate has been an amazing nanny, teacher, caregiver, friend, and playmate for the twins (and us!). She was entering her senior year of her undergrad work at CSU so we knew that our time was limited, but when she started with us, we had no idea how hard it would be to say goodbye! (She's off to grad school in Georgia.)

Kate bought them the cutest books. They have their names and hometown in the text of the story. They are SO excited. We've read them both straight through two times in the last 20 minutes. She knows them both so well--Isabel got a princess book and Milo got a teddy bear book.

Saying goodbye was so hard and so sad. We are so excited for her to go on such a big adventure and we know that she is going to do amazing things in this world. We're just going to--sniff--miss her--sob--so much!!!

5 things we love about Kate:

1. Our kids LOVE Kate. We've had other babysitters come and go and our kids have liked most of them, but they regularly profess their LOVE for Kate. You know that someone is doing it right if your kids are completely in LOVE with them. :) (Milo has plans to marry Kate--don't tell her boyfriend. ;) )

2. She is such a great example of charity and service. She's been on a number of service trips to build homes for projects like Habitat for Humanity--to name just one of of her service endeavors. While other college kids were going wild in Mexico, she was building homes in south Texas. She is pursuing a career serving others and is a person who will make such a difference in this world (and already has).

3. She has the greatest smile and is one of the most genuine people we know. Her smile and laugh could light up a room. She is such an honest and genuine person with so much light to share.

4. She is not afraid of an adventure! She studied abroad in Costa Rica and, now, is traveling across the country to go to grad school. She is embracing the change and the opportunity--makes for a very well-rounded person if you ask us. ;)

5. She nurtured our children and loves them so much! Since I'm here sleeping while our babysitters are here, I often overhear their interactions. Kate treated our kids with just as much love, patience, and nurturing while I was in the room as when I wasn't in the room. She treated this as much more than a job and--through her example and through her own caring--has helped us to teach our children to be kind, loving, and patient.

Great. Now I'm crying AGAIN.

We'll miss you and we love you Kate!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shop 'till you drop...

Grami Tami and Isabel coloring. Upon arrival, Grami Tami promptly surveyed the art box, detected a need for kid-size markers and new coloring books and put it on our "to do" list for the weekend. She always knows just what the kids need or would want. :)

Last weekend we had a rockin’ good time in the form of Grami Tami, Mel, and Erika coming to visit. I know that some folks out there have “wicked stepmother” stories. Well, lucky for us, Spencer’s stepmom is amazing. She is sooooo fun, funny, kind, intelligent, loving, giving, and—did I mention—funny. I call her my sista-mutha for good reason. She feels like another mom in many ways but then feels like a sister in so many other ways. We are definitely kindred spirits.

Erika and Melissa on Pearl Street after we shopped (and shopped) and ate ourselves almost sick at The Cheesecake Factory. BTW, travel with these girls and you will get quick service, flirtatious looks from waiters, and tons of small talk from the guy at the movie store. Okay, you might not, but they will. It will make you feel muy caliente. Or just old. LOL

This trip was supposed to include a face-to-face with Erika’s future employer (she was going to move here to be a nanny) but, since she went off and got engaged, it was a shop-o-rama instead! (For the record, we are totally T.O.d about the not moving here anymore thing but we plan to forgive her when she and her sister move here to live happily ever after. Right girls???)

Grami Tami and Milo playing at Pearl Street. The kids had so much fun and wanted Grami Tami and Melissa and Erika to stay "forever and ever".

We went to Pearl Street in Boulder, Flatirons Mall, Target, Old Navy, and Old Town. It was sooo fun but exhausting too. I think we had just as much fun people watching as we did doing anything else. We ate yummy food at The Cheesecake Factory and at Hu Hot and topped it all off with the best dessert ever—gelato from Gelazzi. If you haven't tried any of these places, get on it!

Grami Tami at Gelazzi. Also known as, "what you get if you let a four year old take a picture".

Their trip flew by. I had big plans in my mind that included girls' night at the movies, getting some more gelato, eating at more fun restaurants, eating gelato, going to the outlets, and getting more gelato. Oh well, more fun next time I guess!!

Milo under the table at Gelazzi. Also known as, "what your face looks like when you do your four year old best to extract every last nanodrop of gelato from your cup".

Her birthday wish...

Yesterday was my mom's birthday. She turned...um...something that rhymes with "schmifty". ;) She's off celebrating in the beautiful Colorado mountains. We thought we'd pay her a little tribute for her return.

Holding the newest grandchild, Mya, the day she was born.

A few things you should know about my mom:

• She is hilarious. Seriously, the woman is SO FUNNY. She loves to laugh, make other people laugh, and--especially--laugh with her family.
• One of the greatest gifts she's given me is her relationship with my dad. They are such an incredible example to me. They've worked hard at their marriage and they are completely in love with each other (after almost 31 years of marriage!) and they are truly, and obviously, one another's best friend. They respect one another, they laugh so much together, and they just love living life together.
• She feels all of our pain to such a deep degree and is incredible when we are down. When we found out that our first baby had died (in utero at 15ish weeks gestation), I called my mom sobbing from the closet (yes, the closet) outside the ultrasound room. She immediately called my dad on speakerphone, did her best to comfort me over the phone, and then promptly packed their bags and headed for Utah to be with us.
• She celebrates with and supports her children. She was soooo far beyond excited when I was finally pregnant with the twins. She told EVERYONE. Seriously, everyone. Cashiers at Safeway? Check. Random strangers on the street? Check. Then, when I was put on bedrest, she (and my dad) adjusted her work schedule so that she could be in Utah with me for a week at a time. She kept my toenails painted, my feet rubbed, my belly full, and my mind (a little) calm.
• When her longtime job went away (a buyout), she went for a job that makes a difference in the world instead of a job that makes a (big) difference in the wallet. She works with the volunteers in our hospital system and with guest services. It is the ultimate service job at out hospital. She has her hands in so many good things there--and she does it all with a smile. :)
• She would do anything for any of us. Whether I need a shopping partner or a bigger assist of some sort, she's always there. She has swooped in to help Spencer and I countless times. She was always there to watch Isabel in a heartbeat when Milo was so sick and she has been an amazing support for my sister through both of her kids.
• She can plan a wicked good trip to anywhere, anytime, and on any budget. Wanna know the best fish hatcheries (free fun for kids folks--not joking) or the coolest factory tours (again, free fun for kids folks--think "Crayola factory on Mr. Rogers") on your route? She's the one to ask!
• She has a seismic love for black licorice (especially Snaps) and she's doing her best to pass it on to her grandchildren by sneaking them black licorice every chance she gets.
• She is such a fun and loving grandma. She turns trips to grandma's house into magical adventures with surprises, a costume drawer, and a giant bubble tub. She loves each one of her grandkids so much and does so much to foster their individuality and creativity.

Mother's Day with all four of the grandkids.

What a great mom and grandma! :) We love you mom. Hope you had fun on your trip!

A few things about the dynamic duo...

After our first big bike ride of the season. I was so relieved that they still fit (barely!) in the bike trailer together. They're definitely harder to pull but the new bike makes it feel easier. :)

Sage did this great post a few days ago about all of the things that Porter is saying and doing right now...Abbie has also done one about Eli at least once before. Please forgive me as I completely rip off their idea:

Isabel

• 
  
  Loves the ballerina bracelet that Grandma Kim got her--wears it all day every day.


• 
  
  Is currently a huge fan of the Sugarloaf books. They are super cute with adorable drawings and pretty quick reads


• 
  
  Loves to color and draw. She could do either one for hours and hours. She's come up with some pretty elaborate drawings and will sometimes make us staple the pages together and write the narrative for her "books".


• 
  
  Plays dressup every single afternoon...and morning...and any chance she gets. She especially loves to go to Grandma Kim's house and go straight to the dressup drawer in the laundry room. She also loves to put on a twirly dress of some sort and then watch some of the performances from Dancing with the Stars and dance along with them. She even makes us sit around the edge of our rug ("the stage") to watch.


• 
  
  Loves to sing along to music. Knowing the words is completely optional. She'll belt it out at the top of her lungs--singing completely nonsensical words. Cracks us up every time.

Milo

• 
  
  Loves, loves, loves all of the Karma Wilson books. (Thanks Aislinn!) He especially loves Bear Wants More. The stories are cute, the illustrations are fantastic, and they all involve Milo's favorite things: animals.


• 
  
  Is learning to read. Grami Tami gave us a set of the Bob Books and he's been a reading fool ever since. He can read several of them without any help at all. Smarty pants. :)


• 
  
  Is soooo excited for the Summer Reading Program at our library. He think that coloring in the clocks for the time we spend reading is super cool and he is psyched to get prizes for reading.


• 
  
  Cries--make that sobs--every single time Kate (the Great), our nanny, leaves our house. The boy is seriously in love. He completely adores her...she's graduating from CSU tomorrow. Sniffle. There will be a whole other post on that--the leaving for grad school that is in Kate (the Great)'s near future. Can you say traumatic? :(


• 
  
  Is obsessed with anything that he perceives to be "boyish" in nature. He loves motorcycles, basketball, hanging out with his dad, hooded sweatshirts, hats, and making weird boy noises. He's taken to reminding all of us several times a week (day?) that he is a BOY and Issy is a GIRL and that Daddy is a BOY just like him. Pretty cute. It's interesting to see them starting to try to claim their own identities apart from one another--interesting and a little sad at the same time!
  

Rules of the House

Milo, Kiana, and Isabel after Kiana's soccer game. The girl has a wicked ability to steal the ball...now if we could just get her to distinguish between her own team and the opposing team. ;)

See that little girl on the right? The one in the cute hat who is so innocently staring off into the distance? Well, thanks to her, we have a new--and very official--house rule.

NO EATING IN THE BATHROOM--ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY ON THE TOILET.

One would think that would be a given. Nope. We had to institute this rule after I found her casually eating a bowl of apple slices while doing her business on the toilet. YUCK does not even begin to describe it.

That girl makes us laugh and dry-heave (toilet brush anyone?) so many times in a week, it is amazing!

Seeking a stamp of approval...

Just because they're cute. :) Milo and Isabel after their blessings (christenings). June 2004

Patience is not my virtue. It is others' virtue. Sadly, it is not mine--most of the time. I believe that I am patient with my children (most of the time), but as for all other things...not so much. I despise lines. Traffic. Delays. Hold music. If you know me, you know I err on the side of highly (overly?) scheduled.

Infertility is not for the impatient. Who am I kidding? Infertility is not for anyone. Except, it is for us. It is for me. It is our lot. We've been married for 9 years. For at least 6 of those years we've been hoping, wishing, praying, or trying for a baby (or for the safe arrival of those in my belly). For the last 2 years, we've been slowly working towards the realization...that it isn't going to happen. Not now. Maybe not ever again. For us, a biological child probably--most likely--won't happen again.


The reality was easier to accept in some ways and harder in other ways. Accepting that I might never again feel my belly swell or that I might never again sway when I walk still brings me to tears. Accepting that we may never again wonder if it will have my eyes or his feet was harder than I knew it could be. You're wondering where the "easy" comes in...once we decided. Decided that it was time to decide. Make a decision. We talked. And prayed. And talked some more. And then, for days, we didn't talk (chose not to) and just prayed and thought instead. And then, we talked again. And we both knew.

Adoption.

It was right there. In my heart. Like I'd always known it. Like...of course we would. Of course. That's been the easy part. The paperwork is another story. Until you've had to "check the boxes that best describes your relationship with..." fill in in the blank (your mother, your father, your spouse, your children), you don't fully appreciate the strangeness of it all. Oh, and be ready to prove that you have fire extinguishers. And a proper exit strategy. What a strange, strange journey this has been.

Don't get me wrong. It has been amazing. It has been spiritual and growth-inducing and...amazing. But also strange. It feels bizarre to send off such a giant check "for our baby" that may come in 4 months, in 12 months, or in 2 years.

Today, a big delay. Our fingerprint cards rejected on a clerical error. So, we start over on that. A five week (minimum) process back at square one. No longer a May approval..."hopefully July!". SIGH. Now we're back to the patience part. I'm learning. Slowly. I swear I am. Faith. Faith and patience. I can wait. What's 5 more weeks when it's been this long right? SIGH. All of the "Ts" are crossed and the "Is" are dotted. So, here we are. Waiting. We are now waiting to wait. We are waiting for our approval so that we can then wait some more. But at least we'll be out there then. At least we'll be an option. We'll be a "potential match".


We're so aware that we're so lucky. To have two children--to have any children. We know so many who have struggled too and who continue to struggle. I hesitated to post this. Then, I hesitated some more. But, ultimately, felt like we needed to share this.

Thanks for reading--and for caring. :) We'll just be here. Praying. For patience--and for that stamp.

Running (the house), Recycling (puffy dresses), and a Recipe...

Things are starting to feel a little more calm around here these days. Emphasis on "a little". :) Today the kids and I spent a day just hanging out, running a few easy errands, and having lunch with some friends. It was so nice and so relaxing (other than the CAT 5 hurricane that was going on in NoCo)...some funnies from this week:

Isabel's list. At first she took the term "cross out" literally and drew a cross over each picture as she finished her jobs. Then, she decided to just go whole hog and do some serious scratching out of each item. :)

Yesterday, I wanted the kids to do a number of jobs around the house before we left to help Sage pick out some new (cute!!) glasses. I gave them each a list with the jobs spelled out and a picture representing each job to the right of the word. You would have thought I had given them some sort of magical power! It was so funny to see how excited they were. I'm sure the novelty will wear off eventually but it was nice to have them stay so focused through their jobs.

Isabel being a flower girl in her recycled "puffy dress". This is her third "puffy dress". Every time she outgrows one, we hit the thrift stores to find the perfect replacement. This one is the cutest by far--others have had some pretty spectacular flowers/bows/puff factor. Also notice the "veil" secured with one of my elastic headbands.

This week, Isabel has been completely obsessed with flower girls. We've talked and talked and talked about flower girls, the role they play in a wedding, and who--exactly--gets to be a flower girl. There is an episode of Arthur that details D.W.'s desire to be a flower girl and that episode has been acted out over and over in our house (and discussed over and over) this week too. No surprise that Issy put on her "puffy dress" (courtesy of a second-hand store in town) and played "flower girl" for about 2 hours today.

Yummm.....I tried this recipe tonight and it was sooo good. The original recipe was from Runner's World magazine. I doctored it a bit as the proportions seemed off (too much sauce, not enough pasta). Here's my version--next time I will definitely add some red pepper flakes when I add the garlic. This makes 4 good sized adult portions.

Fettuccine Paolo

1 large red bell pepper, thinly sliced

4 tsp extra virgin olive oil

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

8 oz whole wheat fettuccine, cooked according to package directions

1 1/3 cups chicken stock or broth

4 tsp balsamic vinegar

1/2 cup sun-dried tomatoes*

1/2 cup artichoke hearts, quartered (with liquid--not oil packed ones)

3 Tbsp fresh basil, sliced thin

1 1/2 cups grilled chicken, sliced (about 1/2 lb)

parmesan cheese

salt and pepper

Directions:

*If using dry pack sun-dried tomatoes, rehydrate by putting tomatoes in a bowl with one cup of warm water and soaking for one hour, or until softened. Gently squeeze to remove excess liquid. Cut into thin slices. *If using sun-dried tomatoes packed in oil use a packed ½ cup, rinse gently, pat dry and cut into thin slices.

In a large saute pan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add pepper and cook three minutes, or until soft. Add garlic, and saute for 30 seconds. Add stock/broth and vinegar, bring to a boil, and simmer until reduced by half. Add sun-dried tomatoes, artichoke hearts and liquid, chicken, and basil. Add fettucine. Season with salt and pepper. Keep warm and serve with parmesan.