How to be a mother...

Last week was Birthday Week around here. Three birthdays in 5 days. I am always so reflective and wistful on their birthdays. Sad for the year that passed so quickly and for the littleness that is gone forever. This year we've had so many more nonmedical struggles (vision, reading, adjusting to first grade, etc. etc.) than in other years. To say that I've stretched my mothering muscles would be an understatement.

Each of my kids has taught me so much about mothering and about being a mother. Each of them has taught me something completely different about mothering. I honestly had no idea, when I began this journey, that mothering each one of them would be so different. I thought that being a mother meant one thing...being a mother. That my mothering traits and "style", if you will, would be the same for all of my children. Well, turns out that I was wrong. Once again.

This birthday, with Keeler, was filled with both incredible joy and...another twist in our parenting journey.

This boy has taught me...

• to laugh first, take a picture second, and scold last
• that life is worth running for (Literally. You should run all day long. You should never, ever walk. Ever.)
• that love is something that comes from your heart and your soul, not from your DNA (I already knew that--to some degree--but he has really proven it)
• to let go of my plans. Because they are usually silly. And can usually wait. In favor of playing more or napping more or just going home instead.
• that family is a very flexible and adaptable term. Keeler's biological family is part of our family. In a way that maybe you can't understand unless you've been in this situation? They are very much a part of the fabric of our family and of his make up and of his person. Even though we don't see them often, we think about them as part of our family every single day.
• what Childhood Apraxia of Speech is. This is the "twist" part of his birthday. Keeler was diagnosed with this disorder just before his birthday. I could tangent off into a long post about being a "mama bear" and my "motherly instincts" and having to fight for my children over and over again. But, I won't. (Or did I?) I will just say that if you think something is wrong, SAY SO. If you think something is wrong, PUSH FOR MORE. If you think something is wrong, don't take "wait and see" as an answer.
• that our already busy life will gladly pause and regroup/reschedule to accommodate the intensive speech therapy that life will now revolve around--and the learning of American Sign Language.
• that the sign for "careful" will be the most frequently used sign in our house. Seriously, the boy is CRAZY!

This boy has taught me...

• that there are so many things in life that are worth being very, very, very enthusiastic about. Sports, Legos, animals, zoo trips, surprise visits from Uncle Josh, science club, and being a big brother.
• that doing the right thing isn't always easy but it's what you should do--because it's the right thing to do. This boy defines integrity.
• that sensitivity is the sweetest and most heart-warming trait in a son.
• that big brothers (or twin brothers) can be the greatest protectors, helpers, guides, and playmates. Ever. And that this can make a parent want to cry tears of joy.
• to always be ready to give a complete answer. And then complete answers to all follow-up questions. Nothing less than full and complete honesty and indepth answers will do. If you don't know, be prepared to find out.
• that there is so much to be learned from and in nature. You can pretty much learn everything you ever wanted to know outside. Bring your notebook wherever you go people, just in case you need to sketch.
• that sometimes nonfiction is just as much fun as fiction (the boy did not venture out of the nonfiction section at the library for over a year!).
• that struggling to stay out of the hospital (and just to breath for pete's sake!) for years can result in the most empathetic and sympathetic heart.
  

Isabel has taught me...

• that sometimes just what you think you can't parent (a girly-girl who loves to dance and play dress-up) is just what you will parent so you can grow. And grow.
• that cuddling in mommy's bed is the greatest part of any morning.
• that seeing yourself so clearly replicated in someone else can be incredibly frightening and incredibly beautiful all at once.
• that being kind to others is just how you should be. End of story.
• that there is ALWAYS time for one more book.
• that learning with your children (volcanoes, Statue of Liberty, history of the state of Wyoming) is so much more fun than learning alone.
• that watching your child struggle and grow can break your motherly heart and make it soar over and over and over again. In one morning.
• that grandparents fill something in a child that parents can't--and that it is the most incredible thing to witness.