Heartbroken.

Today, our worst fears about J's baby--who had quickly become "our baby"--were confirmed. She has a triplication of the 18th chromosome or Trisomy 18. The prognosis for Trisomy 18 babies is, generally, very poor. :( Over half do not survive to their due date and, beyond that, a minority will live beyond 1 week. The condition has a large number of serious or fatal anomalies associated with it. Based on J's specific case and the baby's ultrasound, her doctor has recommended that she deliver the baby immediately.

Our hearts have felt like they are breaking today. Although we've only know J for a month, we've formed a very strong bond with her and had already made such a big place in our hearts for her, her children, and this sweet girl that we dared to hope would be a part of our family very soon. We are so sad for us but we are even more sad for J and for her loss and grief. She is an amazing woman who has been through so much and has proven herself to be so strong yet, sometimes, it just seems like too much for a person to endure.

We are doing our best to see how it is that something that seemed to be working out so perfectly and seemed "meant to be" could have turned out so much different than we'd envisioned. We are trying to take comfort in knowing that, although J would have had to endure this whether she'd found us or not, at least now we can offer her some support and love during this process. As strange as it may sound, we also take comfort in knowing that, although the baby will not have "known" us in this life, at least she will leave this life having been loved and wanted by two more people.

I'm not sure what else to say. I know that this is a difficult grief for others to understand or to comprehend--it's difficult for us to understand too. I also know that it's probably hard to know what to say. But, still, thank you. The phone calls that started rolling in as soon as we told immediate family were heartwarming. Sometimes you can sense that the Lord would put his arms around you if he could--today was one of those days.

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Things that were supposed to be their own posts but won't be...

In the midst of all of this, I'd forgotten to share the news that Milo's EEG was normal. From here, we'll just hope that he does not ever have another seizure. Ever. E.V.E.R.

Also, the kids and I are included in an article in HealthAware magazine this month. If you live in the Northern Colorado area, keep your eyes out for it--mostly at doctors' offices etc.. Or, better yet, click on the link and read the PDF version. We're on page 9. It's an article about prematurity (November is prematurity awareness month).